Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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