I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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