already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"