I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?