remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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