what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
