just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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