you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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