if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
