I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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