Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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