the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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