I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
