i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
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Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
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First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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