Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
