Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
