yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
