whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
