Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.

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  (505): I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled. http://tfl.nu/wz50
  Replies (11) Good night (2866) Bad night (561)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls

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  (253): The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls http://tfl.nu/7h32
  Replies (33) Good night (1473) Bad night (2705)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty

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  (609): i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty http://tfl.nu/sjep
  Replies (6) Good night (2670) Bad night (590)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out

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  (817): I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out http://tfl.nu/wed3
  Replies (28) Good night (3171) Bad night (663)
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  (518): View more from New York

  how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago

  (404): View more from Georgia

  so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?

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  (518): how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago (404): so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me? http://tfl.nu/o0wy
  Replies (30) Good night (8640) Bad night (1032)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.

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  (732): You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you. http://tfl.nu/wi1w
  Replies (7) Good night (3451) Bad night (1586)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot

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  (815): i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot http://tfl.nu/m7cq
  Replies (4) Good night (1041) Bad night (2923)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.

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  (416): All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out. http://tfl.nu/i1g0
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (1596)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower

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  (304): I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower http://tfl.nu/7nvc
  Replies (6) Good night (2087) Bad night (534)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead

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  (347): I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead http://tfl.nu/i3pk
  Replies (7) Good night (1352) Bad night (585)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear

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  (416): Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear http://tfl.nu/hv34
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (456)
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  (415): View more from California

  theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?

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  (415): theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours? http://tfl.nu/bjo4
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (758)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.

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  (732): Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking. http://tfl.nu/mu8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1050) Bad night (312)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.

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  (240): Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum. http://tfl.nu/4chd
  Replies (12) Good night (427) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable

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  (646): Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable http://tfl.nu/rcay
  Replies (6) Good night (1109) Bad night (242)

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