margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
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Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
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passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.