Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was. http://tfl.nu/26j1
  Replies (9) Good night (1379) Bad night (1554)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180. http://tfl.nu/lfvw
  Replies (11) Good night (3966) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts. http://tfl.nu/kee8
  Replies (27) Good night (5126) Bad night (2459)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough http://tfl.nu/ltrw
  Replies (15) Good night (3726) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors. http://tfl.nu/w7i6
  Replies (10) Good night (3518) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room http://tfl.nu/beeq
  Replies (13) Good night (1005) Bad night (3521)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not http://tfl.nu/tjy5
  Replies (9) Good night (946) Bad night (3050)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook. http://tfl.nu/f57q
  Replies (12) Good night (3694) Bad night (1455)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town http://tfl.nu/phfq
  Replies (20) Good night (5757) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship. http://tfl.nu/bk2a
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (2292)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland. http://tfl.nu/5y5k
  Replies (11) Good night (3944) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry. http://tfl.nu/g6j9
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica. http://tfl.nu/qw7s
  Replies (5) Good night (1458) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Who showers for four hours?!

  (760): View more from California

  It was like a tropical nap.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Who showers for four hours?! (760): It was like a tropical nap. http://tfl.nu/5ez6
  Replies (4) Good night (1374) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED. (1-727): I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information. http://tfl.nu/ag5b
  Replies (5) Good night (894) Bad night (269)

Randomize