OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!