The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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