Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
