Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Rumble strips road head = magical
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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