Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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