he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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