grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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