"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
