tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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