Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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