Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
