Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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