she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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