that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
