I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Say something about gay babies.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I woke up under a house in Key West
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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