Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
