my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
