doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize