Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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