your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
