I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
