I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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