Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
