Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
