planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
