Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize