remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I had to cum in my sink.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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