His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
