bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
