I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
