Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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