he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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