i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize