So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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