apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
