Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
