So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
