Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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