Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize